Posted by
This Guy on Thursday, October 12, 2006 4:22:37 PM
Study: Americans Most Beautiful, says World
Oct. 12, 2006 (MHPOSRN): According to a newly released global study, Americans are the best-looking people on the face of the planet. It is no secret that the American people have the best, purest sets of DNA, with the highest rating of people per million carrying the recently-identified Rgl1 gene (known commonly as the "really good looking" gene). But until now, evidence in support of this fact (though widely-accepted as true in all except the most backwards of nations) was considered largely anecdotal. Thanks to the hard work of industrious Americans, science has now confirmed what was suspected all along.
Research was carried out in the most excellent and scientific of fashions, and the results have been unquestionably confirmed as 100% accurate +/- 0.00, with no outlying data or variation and no margin of error. To achieve the highest degree of integrity, the study was carried out by surveying many households and requiring participants to accurately rate themselves on beauty, as well as rating pictures of citizens from other countries for the same. The figures were then extrapolated with indigenous American wisdom and excellence, revealing scientific results that were not at all surprising.
When told of the findings, one Ichiro Tsuzaki of Japan replied, "I am not at all surprised. Americans are so beautiful!"