Posted by
This Guy on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:31:32 PM
One of the biggest problems with American Society today is the fact that it is just so incredibly intolerant of what it doesn't understand.
Case in point: I look a lot like a human, but I know deep down in my heart that I am in fact a wolf. However, when I recently tried to retire to a wolf reserve in the hopes of starting a pack of my own, I was met with staunch resistance. Actually, that's putting it mildly. What I was really met with was bald-faced discrimination ... out-and-out speciesism. Instead of listening to what I had to say, the ignorant hicks at the reserve kept calling me a man, even though I repeatedly asked them to refer to me by my preferred designation, "Lupine American". At the end of it all, the local authorities went so far as to bar me from the premises, insisting that because I am biologically human, that somehow gives others the right to prevent me from expressing my true wolfdom.
Imagine my outrage when I took my case to a number of lawyers and found not a single one willing to stand up to this outright oppression. More than a couple even suggested that I visit a mental health professional! That's right! These people were telling me that I have a mental disorder! Sure, "lycanthropy" is defined by
Merriam-Webster as a "delusion", but that concept is based on fear and social constraints more at home in the Dark Ages.
I hope one day that future generations of wolves-in-people-clothing like me will be able to roam the open countryside of this great nation, eating elk and moose with their brethren, free from the close-mindedness of backwards, progress-hating oppressors that would rather see us locked in cages.